Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
