I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
