There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
