first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
