alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
