Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
