I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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