Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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