I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
