listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
