It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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