I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
