I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
