I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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