Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
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