I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
