So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Damn victory sex feels great
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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