i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Randomize
