I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
i drank out of a bidet.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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