i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Naked. naked and bneed help.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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