I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
