Christians are straight up FREAKS
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
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