where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
