So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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