Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
