A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
i think i have herpe
just one?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
