whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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