the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
