so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
