so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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