I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
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