Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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