Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
