i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
