yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
