Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Randomize
