Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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