Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
