There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Randomize
