thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
