Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
