Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
