Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
