when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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