I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
