arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
