Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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