Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
And then my night got REAL pukey
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
