oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize
