On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
