And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I can't turn off my feet"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
