Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
you mean i was at the winter classic?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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